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No one is normal


Revisiting a question I asked almost three years ago, because, you know, I think that it’s good to check in with yourself periodically on those questions you considered settled: Are you normal? Do you want to be? Before you answer that, it’s necessary to define normal.

 

Normal is one of those words that has a lot of definitions that might surprise you. Mathematical. Scientific. Statistical. Psychological. I’m guessing, though, that you think normal means, well, normal; as in this definition: according to, constituting, or not deviating from an established norm, rule, or principle : conformed to a type, standard, or regular pattern : not abnormal : regular.

 

So, regular. Like everyone else. You know. Normal.

 

But here’s the thing – no one is normal.

 

It’s true. No one is normal. Maybe you’re confusing normal with average. The average human female is 5'4"; male – 5'9". How’s that make you feel? Better? Worse? Normal, or close to it? The average American is almost 39 years old. How old are you? The average temperature on Earth is 59°F. What’s it like outside where you are? I could go on but the point is obvious. Averages are not normal. There’s no normal old person, no normal college graduate, no normal student or parent. There’s no normal way to die or live. There’s no normal way to imagine, to believe or to think.

 

When you hear yourself or someone you love wishing they could be more normal, fine-tune your attention. What they mean by normal might be a wish to feel better, to feel more equilibrium or less anxiety or fear. It might belie a concern with appearances or effort based on unrealistic assumptions. No matter what, wishing to be normal very often means comparing yourself to others – and the characteristics or traits you envy or wish for are probably imagined, mythical, stereotypical or unrealistic.

 

There is no normal. Average does not equal normal. You are not average, and like it or not, you are not normal. Whatever is challenging you right now, just keep working on it. Make progress. Resist comparing yourself to others. There is no new normal coming. There is no old normal we left behind. There has never been a normal. And, no one is normal.

 

There is you. Just one you. You have good days. You have bad days. Do your best, and don’t compare yourself to others. Do you. Do your best you.

 

8/12/24

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