we are all suffering

It is very hard not to write about the turmoil in Minnesota and Maine as well as other parts of our country right now. Even if you focus your attention elsewhere – sports, the weather, reading a great book, cooking a meal, tinkering with a project – it’s likely you have heard the news.

But I write this weekly letter to remind myself, and you, about the practice of living with compassion for ourselves and compassion for others. And, these days, opportunity abounds.

Compassion comes from the roots com- with + pati suffer. So, compassion isn’t really just a “yeah, I feel ya” emotion. It’s not just kindliness or empathy. To be compassionate is to suffer with. To feel compassion is to feel the suffering of another. Why would anyone choose to do that, choose compassion, choose to suffer? Compassion hurts because suffering hurts, so you can see why one might choose to turn away from compassion. Compassion means seeing or feeling something uncomfortable, distressing, even painful. Compassion means being involved. Wholly involved. Involved with. John Donne said it hundreds of years ago – I am involved with mankind. Any man’s death diminishes me. . . and thee. He reminds us that the bell tolls for each one of us.

That is compassion.

But what then of suffering? Do you simply share the burdens of others and walk on? Or, when trying to help yourself, do you just acknowledge that you feel bad and leave it there? Of course not. I mean, I suppose you can, but then I’d ask what is your inner life like and what are you here for? So, no. Of course, no. Once you have named something, you can begin to manage it. You can work to alleviate suffering. You can look for the source and adapt by changing thoughts or practices to reduce or eliminate the cause. I know that will not be the end of suffering. It’s not that simple, and we will always find inventive ways to suffer and cause suffering in others. But it may lead to the end of that suffering.

And that is a start.  

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1/26/2026