walking away

I was doing the crossword puzzle today and was down to a handful of clues that I just could not figure out. So, I took my own advice, took a breath, and shut the computer off. I walked away.

My advice to myself was just that – walk away. I’ve learned that sometimes the best solution to a problem is to stop trying to solve it. Now I realize this tactic is not appropriate in all situations. But in this case, it was. And it is in many cases.

There are so many times when we just cannot let a thing go. We hang on. We fight harder, argue louder, hurt more. We chastise ourselves, belittle and berate. We buy into old tropes and stereotypes of competition and ego, hook, line and sinker and think we have to stay in the game or the fight.

We. Do. NOT. You do not.

In a low-risk situation like my crossword puzzle, I really did not have to finish. Now, I admit, I grew up in a large family and we were competitive, but we were all different so I learned not to feel bad about some of my skills. I wasn’t overly athletic. I was never at the head of the class. But I did have some talents, some wits about me. So I held my own where I had strengths and I learned that I wasn’t always going to win. Still, I honed that urge to prove myself and I do not like failing. Who does?

But I know what was happening. I was in an energy overload situation. The more I went over and over my same wrong (read, ineffectual) answers, the worse I felt. So, I shut my laptop, gathered up my book and suntan lotion and went to the beach. What a shift! It was sunny, low-key, solitary among others seeking solitude. Blue sky, green sea grass, people paddle boarding and kayaking, terns flying together, pipers walking the rocky sand. It was really nice.

Hours later, after a frozen iced coffee and a cool shower, I returned to my crossword. I finished it in minutes. See? I always had the answer. I just needed to defuse and detach from the energy that had accumulated into a blockage, an overload. I needed a circuit breaker. That’s all it took.

Sometimes, shutting it down and walking away is the best thing there is – on so many levels.

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7/13/2026