surprise!

I woke up from a dream last week in which I’d been traveling to a familiar destination, happy and eager to get where I was going, as I’d always had good experiences in my previous travels there. When I arrived – and I arrived at the right place – it was not the right place. I was confused and disoriented. I knew where I was but I was not where I knew myself to be.

Psychoanalysis aside, I was intrigued by the feeling I experienced: How often we follow a plan or a path with supreme confidence in the outcome only to find ourselves flummoxed when we get there. Whether you’re crossing the river to grandmother’s house or crossing the veil to whatever happens after you die, you typically have an expectation about what it will be like when you get there.

Expectations are immaterial even though we think they are real. They might be reasonable. They might be practical. They might even be foundational, leading to more expectations. But, really, expectations are thoughts about things that have not happened, so unless you can see the future, you can have absolutely no certainty about them. Now, it would be unfair to deny the utility of expectations. It’s how we live from moment to moment, day to day and so on. You expect to wake up in the morning and you do. You expect to start your car and it does, or call an Uber and it shows up. You expect to be healthy if you eat right and take care of your body. We live our lives with expectations so embedded that we are surprised, even affronted, when suddenly things switch up.

Your dishwasher flooded your kitchen overnight. There’s two inches of ice on the roads and trees. Your cough is walking pneumonia. Disruptions to our expectations can cause us a lot of headache – even heartache.

In my dream, I was disoriented. I knew where I was but it was nothing like the place I knew. Sometimes, the only thing to do is to accept the unexpected, go with the flow (since you know you get to control your reactions), and explore the new landscape for familiar pathways and new ones, or both. Sounds a little like the serenity prayer, doesn’t it?

Remember that wherever you go, there you are. Bring yourself to each of life’s moments with an open heart, a humble willingness, and confidence in the value of your own ability to contribute.

© 2026 www.megreilly360.com

2/16/2026