on being a better person

Jannik Sinner (in case you don’t know) is a 23-year-old Italian tennis player who just won Wimbledon yesterday. In the Q+A after the match, he answered a question about looking ahead to what’s next by saying that he’s always working on becoming a better tennis player but also being a better person.

Barely out of his teens, and he’s thinking of how to be a better person.

Maybe it’s because singles tennis is a solo sport. Obviously, you have to be equal in skill to your opponent – in strength, endurance, finesse, technique. But, maybe more important, you have to be able to control your emotions, one point at a time, regardless of your opponent, your coaches, the crowd. It’s just you. You have to be able to stay focused on the point you are playing while you’re playing it, even if you are down by points or sets or games. Not thinking about the points you already lost. Not imagining the points you hope you’ll score. You have to focus on what’s happening now. One point at a time.

It’s a hard skill to develop. And I don’t know if that’s what he meant by being a better person, but it strikes me that honing that kind of focus sure would help me be a better person. Not worrying about the words or actions that got me here – the woulda, coulda, shouldas. Not worrying about what other people think about me – she’ll never make it, she’s too far down that road. And certainly not worrying or catastrophizing about what might come – what I won’t be able to do, what I’ll never accomplish, what a loser I am. Spiraling out in a torrent of what-ifs is a sure-fire way to bypass the work it takes to be a better person.

Because it takes work.

It’s not about being nice (although that helps) or being skilled, talented or accomplished (that might help, too). It’s about showing up for myself in every moment. The easy ones. The hard ones. The frustrating ones. The sad ones. It’s about believing that I can always do better. It doesn’t have to be big or showy. And, it may not be today; that’s okay, but just keep at it. Because it’s not something that’s done and checked off. It’s being. It’s how I am. Not how I was. Not how I want to be. It’s one point at a time. It’s this point, now. And there’s no one I’m doing it for other than myself. That’s it. That’s the work.

Would others around me benefit? Maybe. Probably. But the only way it works is if I’m doing it for myself. Showing up, trusting in the skills I already have, trying hard things, learning new lessons and appreciating the journey. Rinse. Repeat.

Be a better person. Be a better you. You know how.  

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7/14/25