if only

Quick – define the word only. Okay, got it? Now read on.

There have been thousands of words written about the word only by people whose business it is to comment on usage in our English language. As I only speak the one language, I can’t say if the commentary expands beyond English, but I’d put money on it.

Only derives from ān one + -līc -ly, so that makes sense, right? One-ly. Like one. Unique. Solitary. One off.

The long-standing discussion is the placement of the word. When we speak, someone else is typically listening to us, so they gain meaning from our tone and body language in addition to what we actually say. So, comprehension is holistic in that case. But when you transcribe what you say, when you write it down, it becomes much more important to know whether only is an adjective (unique, exclusive, solitary), an adverb (merely, just) or a conjunction (except, but, however). Because, it can be all three. Consider these sentences:

• Only if I could love you.

• If only I could love you.

• If I only could love you.

• If I could only love you.

• If I could love only you.

• If I could love you only.

See? One word, six different flavors.

So, how does this relate to living with compassion for yourself and for others? I guess I have two take-aways. The more serious one is that words matter. I always believe that, so I always encourage us to use our words thoughtfully and with care. The less serious one is that it’s fun to play with words. The more we know about them, the more fun we can have.

So, this week, listen up when you hear the word only. See if you think the speaker is being clear. And, use it yourself. A lot. Put it in sentences here, there and anywhere. See if you can be more clear or more silly.

After all, you only live once. 

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7/28/25