and, and . . .

I'm revisiting a post from two years ago because I've been thinking -- again -- about this zero-sum mentality that pervades our lives. Zero-sum means if I gain, you lose. If you gain, I lose. It means there's only so much. It's a mindset that falsely limits us and pits us against each other. I see it everywhere and it saddens me because it's a snare.

For all the times I've written about choice -- and they are many -- I neglected to emphasize the "and" in the process. When we think of choice, we typically frame it as an either or. A choice between two things, this and that, stay or go, yes or no. And, sure, sometimes that's exactly what it feels like. I'm going to eat that cheesecake for dessert or I am not. That's a simple, binary choice. And life's full of those.

But life is so much more than either or. Life is AND. I'm going to forgo the cheesecake and have sorbet. Or I'm skipping dessert and talking a walk. It works for anything, not just calories. I'm going to college and moving in with my aunt and uncle for two years. I'm saying no to that promotion and starting night classes.

Everything is a choice whether it's just getting out of bed or searching for a new life form. It isn't about easy or hard, can I or can't I. As Yoda said, "Just do or do not." Either way you've made a choice. But Yoda could have just as wisely advised young Luke to do and do not, because choosing one is choosing the other. When you switch your "or" to an "and," you turn the whole thing on its head. Possibilities multiply. Positivity increases. Consciousness expands.

Choices abound; indeed, life is nothing but choices. Reframe your thoughts. You already know the importance and the consequences of making good choices, but rather than seeing them as zero-sum, see them as additive.

So, this week eat the cheesecake AND take the walk. Read the book AND watch the movie. Live your life AND love it! 

8/17/2026

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